When I started Lazy Lady, I was single lady, living alone for the first time in my life. I had no roommates to hold me accountable, no family either. So my lazy, messy and unhealthy habits reached maximum grossness. I needed accountability to keep myself in check. So I started the blog and gave that power to the internet, hoping that publicly shaming myself for being a lazy slob would give me the checks & balances I was lacking.
Fast forward a few years, and the now Mr. LL came into my life. We dated, moved in together, got married. Now I had someone else sharing my living space. For awhile, in the beginning of our co-habitation, my cleaning habits improved...slightly. I mean, who doesn't try to hide their inner slob in front of a significant other? I was, and still am, a bit of a hoarder, but everything was at least tidy. Plus, it didn't hurt that Mr. LL would get up early on the weekends and clean while I "slept" (sometimes, I'd hear the vacuum and just pretend to be asleep to avoid being self-guilted into cleaning...I know, my laziness knows no boundaries).
That schtick didn't last long though. Mr. LL was on to me and called me out on that very selfish behavior. In fact, we've had a handful of fights about me not being what one might call a "clean" person. Mr. LL is no neat-freak either though. We'd spend an entire weekend cleaning the entire apartment only to have him come home the next day and leave a trail of dirty clothes from front door to the bathroom. We acknowledge that we are both human and that we both value our personal hobbies and interests just slightly more than doing the day-to-day chores. However, Mr. LL is more willing to get what needs to be done more regularly than I am. I'm more of a "someone's coming, quick hide everything!" type of cleaner.
There was a period in our relationship where Mr. LL was out of work and I still had (have) my full time job. We agreed that if one of us was out of the house making money, the other one would be at home keeping the place clean and sometimes do the cooking (that last part was more of a nice gesture if there was time, not really a part of the agreement). We did this because we had mutual friends that had one member of the partnership out of work for whatever reason and it caused major problems in their relationships. The person out of work would just sit around playing video games/hanging out with friends/whatever instead of helping out by doing simple house work so the other person wouldn't have to when he/she got home from a long day at work. We didn't want to ever add this kind of stress to our relationship, so our little pact made sense and seemed fair. Still does.
Now, Mr. LL and I both have full time jobs, so we pretty much split the housework...or at least that is how it should be split. We just recently had one of the fights I mentioned earlier because I got on a reading binge (thanks a lot Sarah J. Maas–but seriously, write more books, I need my fix) and was basically glued to the couch with a book in my hands for a couple of weeks. So, I've been really trying to put in an effort to pull my weight–and the laundry to the washing machine–around here. Plus, Mr. LL has been working side jobs on the weekend, and as per our agreement, that means that while he is out busting his ass to bring home some extra income, I'm home busting my ass to get our place clean.
Yesterday, I did a TON of laundry, washed the dishes (oh how I miss having a dishwasher), swept the floors, vacuumed the rugs and couch and picked up trash. Today, I can take it a little easy, but I still have to do last night's dishes and pick up (again...it never ends). Plus, I need to take out the trash and put away all that laundry I did yesterday. Last night, we slept on the couch because our bed is covered in clean clothes. Luckily we have a very comfortable and big sectional. ¬.¬ But hey, I figured out how to edit a podcast!...instead of putting away the clothes.
Being in a true partnership, like a marriage, is completely different than having roommates to share the chores with. I find I am more sensitive to Mr. LL's feelings and habits than I ever was when I lived with two roommates in my college days. Back then, we had a calendar of rotating chores (this week I'm doing the kitchen, next week I'm on bathroom duty..."duty" heh heh, I didn't even do that intentionally) and a lot of resentment towards each other when one of us would be overly dirty in our area of the house to clean that week or if someone slacked on their chores. Now, it's more like we are team instead of opposing forces. It's nice, but it means that if one of us slacks, the feelings get much more hurt and stakes are much higher.