35 before 35: Revisited

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This was originally posted June 11, 2018. I am revisiting it to check-in with my goals.

I never did the whole 30 before 30 thing, but I really like the concept and I figure, hey I got some time before I turn 35, so why not make a bucket list? You won't find anything crazy on it, like travel outside the country, because I'm still trying to figure out how to get my little family on a vacation in another city that's a two hour drive away. Baby steps. I have about a year and a half to check off this bucket list. I'll be updating my progress as I go and I'll check back in after I turn 35 in 2020!


35 BEFORE 35 BUCKET LIST

  1. Take a real family vacation with Mr. LL and Lazy Baby: out of town, for at least three days. Preferably a week or longer. Yeah, this isn’t going to happen before 35. But an in town vacation is in its planning stages.

  2. Take a kickboxing class: or some other kind of fitness class that I’ve never tried before. Maybe just ANY fitness class?

  3. Learn another language: I’m leaning towards sign language, but I’d really love to learn Japanese. I’m just a wee-bit intimidated by that one. Still working on this one.

  4. Fight back fear: make a list of things I’m afraid of and try to face at least 5 of those fears. Still working on this one.

  5. Have a family dinner: that’s not holiday related, at our house. Does birthday related count? ;)

  6. Buy a house. DONE!

  7. Donate blood: I’ve never done this because I was afraid, but having a baby made me not so squeamish about having blood drawn or needles. Still working on this one.

  8. Try a sensory deprivation chamber: I just want to know what it’s like to just be with nothing to distract you.

  9. Go to the Insectarium: I’ve been curious and I’d like to LB. Plus Maybe I can check of one of my fears (spiders) here. Part of the stay-cation plan!

  10. Write: a children’s book, finish the novel I started, or do something completely different. Just something. Still working on this one.

  11. Get Lazy Baby out of our bedroom: Hopefully if we buy a house this will take care of itself. DONE!

  12. See a musical: The Saenger in New Orleans gets a lot of great shows, and I would love to see one. I’ve never seen a musical live.

  13. Start a monthly date night with Mr. LL: Mr. LL and I haven’t been out, at night, since he was in a wedding. I’d like to have this time to just unwind with him. But first... We started this.

  14. Trust someone to babysit LB besides my mom: Yeah, we gotta cross this hurdle first. My mom is out of babysitting commission for awhile so time to suck it up. Still working on this one.

  15. Evening walks with my family: Not EVERY evening, because right now it is too dang hot and that’s when the mosquitoes come out. But maybe in the fall and winter we can do this some times. This has morphed into trying to play outside/at the park every weekend.

  16. Have an emergency fund: we’ve been working on this one, I’d just like to see it reach it’s goal. Still working on this one.

  17. Date with myself, once a month: like going out for coffee or something small like that. Just to have a little “me” time.

  18. Join an IRL book club: I’m getting desperate for some friends that are in my vicinity, and if this is what it takes, so be it. Plus, Books, Booze + Bajingos is still on hiatus. I’m over this one, honestly. BB+B is back, though less frequent, and I am fine with that.

  19. Get a new computer: Or at least a new to me refurbished computer.

  20. Create a capsule wardrobe: I want to be able to clear out some room in my closet that I share with Mr. LL and also be able to make well put together outfits quickly. Still working on this one.

  21. Try a new food: This one I’m hoping to let happen organically. Like if I’m offered something I’ve never had before, I’m just going to eat it and see if I like it. I’ve been trying to reform my picky eater ways most of my adult life and I need to step it up a notch.

  22. Grow a plant: I have a black thumb when it comes to horticulture, so I’d like to see if I can manage this task. I’ll probably kill it, but maybe I can get a cactus and keep it alive. 🌵 So, our new house has A LOT of landscaping, therefore, I am adjusting this one to be “don’t kill it all.”

  23. Do a class with Lazy Baby: Like a swim class or mommy and me time at the library. Just something out of the house that will help her development and give us some bonding time. Still working on this one.

  24. Have an all-day spa experience: I tried to do that this year for my birthday, but it ended up being a morning and the rest of the day filled with stress and disappointment because my plans for a “me” day fell apart. But that’s life. Still working on this one.

  25. Start eating better for my digestive issues: I have acid reflux, bile reflux and a hiatal hernia. I am at risk for Type II diabetes (hereditary) as well, so I really need to look into what kind of diet would be best for my health and work to stick with it. Still working on this one.

  26. Start taking a multi-vitamin: When I was taking prenatal vitamins, my health with great. Not a cold in sight! This taught me that vitamins are legit but I haven’t gotten back on them since the pregnancy. Still working on this one.

  27. Complete a 365 photo challenge. ¬.¬

  28. Buy a legit dinner setting: Mr. LL and I bought a set from Walmart years ago and it has slowly started to break and chip and crack. I want to get a new dinner set and one that is maybe a bit better quality. Still working on this one.

  29. Kick a bad habit: I have plenty to choose from, like my coffee/soda intake, sleeping with make-up on my face, biting my nails, picking at my face, etc. If I could work in getting one of these out of my life, I’d be happy. Still working on this one.

  30. Meal prep for an entire month, straight: I’ve been an on-again-off-again meal prepping since before Lazy Baby and I really loved it when I did it. I just need to suck it up and spend some time doing it. Still working on this one.

  31. Check off at least on restaurant on my dining bucket list: Preferably 5. Still working on this one.

  32. Have a respectable home bar: Mr. LL and I are not big drinkers, by any means. Especially now, with LB in our lives. But I’d like to have the occasional cocktail after a long, hard day and I don’t particularly like beer or wine. So, I hope to just get a few bar staples so that I can whip up something when the urge hits me. Still working on this one.

  33. Master at least 5 cocktails: I only know how to make simple cocktails that require a mixer + liquor, so I’d like to fancy up my drink game. Still working on this one.

  34. Get routine about my preventative medical junk: I go to the lady doctor every year, but my annual physical, dental cleanings and eye exams are a rare occurrence. As I get older, I really need to make sure I’m taking care of myself, not just for me but for my family as well. Still working on this one.

  35. Make indulgence a weekly event but only once a week: I’d like to have one day a week where we can indulge in junk food and other such things but also try to keep those indulgences to one day a week. Keep the rest of the week healthy and really put thought into how we spend our “cheat day”. Still working on this one.

Happy Mother's Day!

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A reflection on motherhood from my perspective:

Motherhood is destroying your body to bring life into this world.

Motherhood is tiny moments.

Motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all thing. What works for some, or even most, may not work for you. And as many books and blogs written about parenting, there is no actual manual for being one.

Motherhood is finding peace when the world is crashing down.

Motherhood is not sleeping through the night.

Motherhood is being the parent that your kiddo says “I love you” to first. ;)

Motherhood is knowing the difference between a true cry and a “fake” cry.

Motherhood is sacrifice.

Motherhood is guilt.

Motherhood is the truest love in all the world.

Motherhood will make you cry. And scream. And throw your hands up, giving up on everything you were trying to accomplish in that moment.

Motherhood is caving in and giving your kid another damn cookie.

Motherhood is lying about how much TV your 2 year old watches.

Motherhood is not actually giving a shit about the TV thing.

Motherhood is hearing the best giggles and never wanting them to stop. Even if it is way past bedtime.

Motherhood is snuggling up with your kid, even though that’s a “sleep training no-no” because this is your time of the day to just be still with her and feel her relax in your arms, lap, on your chest, etc. I will not give this up until SHE doesn’t want me there anymore.

Motherhood should be celebrated every day.

Note: I gave birth to my daughter, but I don’t not consider those who have adopted any less a true parent to their child/children. The above is a reflection on my experiences and my truth. Families are love, not genetics.

Coming up for air

Lazy Baby in her new backyard.

Lazy Baby in her new backyard.

Remember last year when I said my life was getting hectic, well, it stayed hectic for a while.

The view from my new job (this was around christmas time).

The view from my new job (this was around christmas time).

First, I quit my job of almost 11 years to take a new position. I was the Assistant Creative Director at a weekly alternative newspaper, and I loved the work. I got to design different styles every week and knew the ins-and-outs the paper and its deadlines. Then, the paper was sold to a bigger corporation and things just didn’t feel right anymore. The benefits weren’t great, the dynamics were shifting and I took this time to face the reality that I was as far up the ladder as I could go (the Creative Director was not going to be leaving anytime soon). Not to mention that working for a newspaper, I was woefully underpaid. So, I started to look for new opportunities. I had a couple of interviews at some tech firms in the city, but I suspect I was overqualified and under qualified at the same time. Then I interviewed at an architecture firm and got the job. This is a different world, filled with new terminology and responsibilities, but I am starting to get the hang of it. I think. If nothing else, they seem to like me.

That was last August. While all of this was going on, Mr. LL and I were house hunting. We finally had the money for a decent down payment on a house, and Lazy Baby desperately needed her own room. At the end of January we closed on a house in the suburbs near a park that we frequent most often. It needs some remodeling, but everything is functional and it has plenty of space for our family. There was some minor plumbing issues, but we agreed to move on with the transaction-just putting some of the money in escrow for the repairs.

Ha ha. Don’t ever do that. Those minor issues turned into bigger issues and two months after moving in they were finally done, but not really. I am not going to go into detail because I was losing my mind over it and I am not ready to relive that trauma. Too soon.

But we are finally settling into the place. We have art on the walls, and Lazy Baby is enjoying her own space. We have an honest to goodness dining room table. I told Mr. LL that I needed the rest of 2019 to settle. Settle into my job and into this house. We’re working to rebuild our savings and plan for our first remodel project which will be the guest bathroom. We also want to redo the master suite bathroom (y’all I am loving having two bathrooms), open the living space and remodel the kitchen. I think, down the line, we’d like to create a studio space in the back yard (think tiny house). However, right now I am just focusing on getting used to the new job and meeting the expectations they have of me; and when I am home, I want to soak up every second of Lazy Baby, who is growing up so fast, and spend quality time with Mr. LL. Home is my happy place and I want it to be theirs too.

So, that’s what’s been going on in the Lazy household. I am working on coming back to the blog, but slowly. I will have another post this week, a product review, and then I will probably just post once a week for a while. I hope you, dear reader, haven’t given up on me yet!